How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
