i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
