I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
