Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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