remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
