It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
