I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
