Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
