well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
