Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
