i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
