i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The best revenge is premature balding
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
