May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
