Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
