Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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