I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize