So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
