yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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