I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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