So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize