gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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