its not stalking. its research.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
