apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize