I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
