Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
