life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
