Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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