I could have mohawked her pubes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
