I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
