He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
