it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
