Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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