Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize