well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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