your parents love me but you hate me
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
