some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
