i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
