called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
