We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
