Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
