So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize