my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
pray to the hookup gods
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
