I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
