It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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