the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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