Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
