I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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