You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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