I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize