Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth

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(214): View more from Texas

ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(916): View more from California

you want your laptop back?

(1-916): View more from California

are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

(916): View more from California

both.

(1-916): View more from California

come over.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

(289): View more from Ontario

Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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(661): View more from California

I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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(816): View more from Missouri

The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.

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(954): View more from Florida

You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...

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