I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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