I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
