Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
