this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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