this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
