So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
