Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize