He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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