Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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