great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
